What is "good" music?

 Music has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. 

When I was a little girl, my mom would wake me up with Kirk Franklin or "Solid Gold Soul" blaring through the speakers in the kitchen. My dad would play the "Awesome Brothers" (Allman Brothers Band) in the car everywhere we went. I sang along to every word of every song. I sang church hymns like nobody's business. I took dance lessons for the first decade of my life. I took piano lessons when I started school. When I got a little older, I started auditioning for the summer musicals at Tupelo Community Theatre. When I got to middle school and high school I was involved in choir and showchoir. 

My older siblings passed down all of their old CDs to me and introduced me to all the wonderful software to download music for free (oops). Pretty soon after that, YouTube became a thing, and I could convert videos to mp3 files online and burn them onto CDs. I had stacks and stacks of CDs all over my room. (If you look through my car today, I still have most of them.) Every Christmas I got a music-related gift: Hello Kitty CD player, Hit Clips, mp3 players, iPods, sound systems, a keyboard, a guitar, CDs and music videos on DVD, record players and albums on vinyl, etc. 

Music was my life. It was all I really knew growing up. And I had pretty impeccable taste. 

When I got older, I slowly started to become a "music snob." Music was such a big part of my life that it became part of my identity. I was proud of my taste in music, and I liked to show it off to my friends. I went to as many concerts and music festivals as possible in college. I preferred hanging out with people who liked "good" music. Any guy I dated had to have what I considered "good" taste in music.  It sounds ridiculous, but it was very real at the time. 

When I met my husband, one of the first things I learned about him was that he loved Taylor Swift and Andy Mineo (a Christian rapper). I absolutely did not approve. I made fun of him for his music taste, and I showed him some of my favorite music to try to convert him. (I told y'all I couldn't date guys with bad music taste!) He really liked some of the music I showed him, but he still loved his music, too. 

When we started dating, I realized that he was actually just as passionate about music as I was. Every Friday, he would listen to all the new music that had been released on Spotify. He would dissect the lyrics of every song, and he would listen through entire albums over and over again. He would watch YouTube videos of people breaking down the songs and albums he liked, and he would get so excited to share them with me! Most of the time, I would respond with "ew, this is so bad." But he didn't care. He kept listening. 

We got married during the pandemic, so live music wasn't really part of our relationship for the first few years. We had both been to a lot of shows before we met each other, but we really wanted to experience live music together. So we started looking at shows near us, and we saw that my favorite band was going to be playing at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville during my Spring Break. Neither of us had ever been to a show at the Ryman, so this was a bucket list experience for both of us. We quickly splurged on floor tickets right up front and started planning our trip. 

Khruangbin @ The Ryman Auditorium / Nashville, TN / March 15th, 2022 




I was on cloud nine that night because I got to share my favorite band with my favorite person, and he fell in love with them during the show. 

Later that year, Taylor Swift announced the Eras Tour. My husband fought in the Great Ticketmaster War to secure two nosebleed tickets, and I told him that he could take literally anyone else with him. I didn't even feel like I deserved to be there, but he said he didn't want to take anyone else. I remembered how I felt when we were at the Khruangbin show together, and I wanted to repay the favor. So a little over a year later we ended up back in Nashville for another show. 

Taylor Swift (The Eras Tour) @ Nissan Stadium / Nashville, TN / May 5th, 2023



I had so much fun that night watching Riley sing his heart out like a teenage girl. I grew an appreciation for Taylor Swift as an artist and performer. She truly is a creative genius, and she creates incredible experiences for her fans. (There is a reason she is one of the most successful musicians in the world.) Would I consider myself a "Swiftie?" Not even close. I definitely still prefer "my" music, but I am so glad that I got to share that experience with my husband. 

Ever since the concert, I have been reflecting on my relationship with music. It sounds weird, and maybe this means nothing to you, but I don't think there is such a thing as terrible taste in music anymore. That's a huge deal for me to say, and it even feels controversial for me. But I am trying to learn to be more like Ted Lasso and "be curious, not judgmental." 

Music means so much more to people than just what it sounds like. I got in trouble as a kid for listening to music with bad words, but I didn't even realize the songs had bad words because I just liked how they sounded. I've always loved a funky bass line, or the sound of a guitar "singing." I love music with dynamic beats, beautiful melodies, and the perfectly added soulful horn section. I love songs that I can sing and dance to because that's what I grew up doing. But what I have noticed about Riley is that he loves music that tells a story and puts words to how he feels inside. He loves when people play with words to express ideas in a deeper or more interesting way. We still have pretty different taste, but we share the same love for music. 

After seeing both of our favorite musicians live and creating those memories together, I have realized that music is so much bigger than what I have made it in the past (and my whole freaking life has been music). 

Music brings people together. It helps us connect. It speaks no languages. It puts words to our deepest wounds and our greatest joys. It takes us back in time to specific people, places, and memories. It makes us feel emotions that are difficult to find within ourselves. It offers us space to express ourselves, to move our bodies, to create, and to dig deep. 

Music is so powerful and complex, and it should never be minimized to just "good" or "bad." 

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