6h 12m

Sunday, April 21: 6h 12m

Yesterday, on Easter Sunday, I woke up and got ready for church. I drove to the park where we would share a meal as a church family and host an outdoor worship service. I marched through the mud in my wedges at 8 AM to the stage where I rehearsed with the band. We practiced. We joked around. We prayed. We ate. We worshiped together. The sun was shining. The weather could not have been more perfect, aside from what was left of the mud after previous months of continuous rain. My friends Russ and Daniel shared a message about finding peace in the presence of God. They talked about how we all come together on Easter to celebrate the hope that we have through Jesus, but then we all go back home and continue to live our lives.  We sometimes forget about the omnipresence of God. Actually, I forget about God's presence in my life more often than sometimes.   

But why do we have to remind ourselves of the presence of an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-present being in our lives?

After the beautiful morning spent worshiping under the warm sunshine, I did exactly what Russ said I would do. I returned home. I shared a meal with some family members. We talked. We laughed. We drank coffee and ate cake.  And then they left. My immediate thought was this: "You can get on social media now." 

For the past 40 days, I had chosen to delete all of the social media apps on my phone. I had done this before about three years ago and it was such a refreshing, eye-opening experience. I was the happiest I had ever been in my life during that time. But this year it was different. This year it was HARD. I was not in college anymore, constantly surrounded by people. I was actually, more often than not, alone. Another problem I faced was my birthday falling right in the middle of the 40 days. I don't know if y'all know this, but when you are inactive on social media for a while, they start to send you e-mails. I try to check my e-mail at least once a day. When Facebook and Instagram started e-mailing me, I would constantly check for some sort of notification that would give me a small glimpse into this world that I had temporarily removed myself from. So on my birthday, when I got that e-mail, I gave in. I clicked on the link to "see what people have been writing on your wall, Mary!" I would be rude if I didn't respond, right? I mean, it was my BIRTHDAY. Yep, I'm pretty good at making up excuses for myself. Anyway, after that day I continued to "fast" from social media until Easter Sunday.

So instead of helping my mom with the dishes, I downloaded Snapchat. Then Instagram. Then Facebook. I logged in. I started scrolling.  I started watching.  I started liking and commenting.  And then it got dark outside.  I looked at the time and somehow 2:30 PM had turned into 7:30 PM.  I had been staring at a screen for almost half the day, and I was about to stare at a screen for another hour because Game of Thrones was coming on at 8.  During the show, I kept picking up my phone and clicking on those little icons out of habit.  Then, it hit me. I had already been sucked back in. I could not even devote 100% of my attention to the greatest show ever made because my phone was sitting next to me with those three little icons screaming at me to come back. After the show, I sat there trying to decide what to do.  I thought I had the self-control to just refrain from it, even though I knew it was there.  I even tried grouping the apps into a folder named "BAD." But it didn't work. The problem was that it had become like muscle memory. It felt as if I was subconsciously picking up my phone and opening those apps, and THEN realizing what had happened and telling myself to put my phone down.  What began as a beautiful Easter Sunday, turned into 6 hours and 12 minutes of screen time.  

So I made a decision.  

 Earlier that day, when I was scrolling through Instagram, I saw a few other people posting about how they had given up social media for Lent and how eye-opening it was for them. How they hoped to use it differently now. How they would be more aware of the issues it presents.  One person even said he was done using social media indefinitely.  So I started to think and reflect on the past 40 days.  What did this time without social media teach me?  I have to take breaks from social media pretty regularly for short periods of time, so it wasn't this new foreign concept for me.  It wasn't that I was posting tons of photos wishing for a million likes.  It wasn't that I was jealous of people, or that I was filling my head with horrible things.  In that moment, I realized that I was addicted. I had no self-control over those three little icons.  If they wanted my attention, they got it.   

Those little icons won my attention over the presence of my favorite movies and shows, the presence of my friends and family, and even the presence of My God. 

When I got in bed last night I decided that the benefit of scrolling, liking, commenting, and posting is not worth the cost of wasting 6 hours and 12 minutes of my day staring at a screen.  I chose to wake up today, start writing about it, and see where it takes me.  Now, I am choosing to publicly say that I am done with those tiny icons.  If you know me at all, you know that I am not sharing this to brag, or to persuade, or to prove anything.  Everything I post to this blog is either to help others or to better myself.  In this case, I hope to do both.  I am not saying that it is bad for everyone to use social media.  I am not saying I will never use it again.  I might check my Facebook every now and then, or post these blog links for you to read.  But I can do all of that from a computer.  What I am saying is that I know my limits.  I cannot allow myself to have access to those apps on my phone, because I don't have the self control to refrain from using them.  They always win.  SO...

If you have made it this far, congratulations. I have two requests for you:  

1. If you ever see me in public with my nose stuck in my phone, please come slap me. (OK, not really. But do come speak to me.  Remind me of this post and why I wrote it. If you're not confrontational, then just come say hello or smile at me.) 

2. If you have felt inspired, convicted, challenged, confused, etc. by this post or simply by the amount of time you spend on your phone, please try to act on it.  Just see what it's like to go one day without social media. Or even try giving up one of the several platforms you use.  It sounds impossible, but I don't know anyone who has done it and regretted it.  

***If you want to talk more about this or anything going on in your life, please contact me. If you have my number, call me. If not, my e-mail is mknesmith95@yahoo.com. If you are in North Mississippi, I would love to sit down and have a real conversation with you. We can leave our phones in the car, and I promise I will try my best to give you my undivided attention. If you don't live in the area, invite me to come visit! I love to travel :) 

Every day, we make a choice. We decide what to give our attention to.  Today, I choose my family.  I choose my friends.  And I choose My God.